"Can't Believe We're Still Alive"

Our minister told this morning of attending a class reunion of 40 years and he had been one of their teachers. There was a sign there that said "Can't Believe We're Still Alive". Of course, being one of their teachers, it made him feel really old.
It seems to me as we grow older, our priorities, perspectives and a lot of other things change. When you become involved in other people's lives, your time is litterally not your own. I have no routine any more. When I wake up each day the first thing I see as I make my cup of coffee is a rock someone gave me that has written on it "Thank You Lord for Today". When I look at that rock I realize that may be all we have is just today. Somehow that makes the dust, clutter, etc. much less important. Don't get me wrong. I still love a clean, organized house, but if a phone call comes or some other more important interruption happens I try to go with the flow and do what I need to do with a cheerful attitude. This change in attitude has put me smack dab in the middle of so many lives that some days I don't have time to think about my grand children who live so far away and the fact that I will soon have a great grandson that I may only see occasionally. Recently Deedie, Mitzi and I took a young widow out to eat for her birthday. She has no family here and is somewhat physically disabled and then in June fell and "messed up" her good arm and shoulder. Her medical problems are many and her finances are few. We invited 3 more of her friends to join us at El Fenix, one of her favorite places. As I looked around the table of 9 people, I realized that outside of Deedie and Mitzi, I knew none of the people personally 4 years ago. Two of the 9 people were young girls who came with their mother and grandmother. It may not have been blood family, but it had a definite family atmosphere. The birthday girl was surprised and so happy to be getting the attention.
After reading my sister's blogs tonight I realize again how she has always been Mary to my Martha no matter how hard I try to change. Her blogs are spiritual and very thought provoking. Mine are just what I happen to be thinking about at the time, which are for the most part, very random and frivilous.
Our family - Dennis, Mitzi, Annette, Amy and Jason were always the focus of my life from the moment Dennis was born and then as we added the other members one by one. We were fortunate in so many ways to have them close to us for 49 years plus a few months. Now that most everyone is scattered I'm having to get used to a totally different life. I really thought I was doing well with the situation and then something happened to make me realize how easily I can fall back. Two of the ladies at Webb Chapel church are giving Amy a baby shower on Sunday, October 16, even though she's in Pennsylvania. Mitzi was planning to hook up her computer camera and Amy was going to hook hers up so she could be a part of the shower. Annette called me yesterday and told me that one of our elders and his wife are giving Amy enough of their free miles to fly her down for the weekend so she could be here for the shower. Every pregnant picture I have seen of her recently has made me want to hug her the way I used to. Of course, Annette feels that in a mothers' way  and was so sad that she wasn't going to get to see her before the baby is born. When Annette told me the news, I cried and cried, and  it made me realize that I haven't been doing as well as I thought.
I know that this doesn't make sense and maybe no one will read it which would probably be good, but my mind is so crazy lately and jumps around a lot, so this is me on Sunday night, September 25, 2011.