Three (Unfortunately True) Stories

Our Ladies Bible class have four teams of three or four ladies and each team makes visits once a month to our shut-ins, hospital, nursing homes, etc. The team I am on made our visits after class on Tuesday. We usually have lunch together and then spend most of the afternoon visiting. Sometimes these are enjoyable and uplifting for all of us but yesterday that was not the case. We all came away a little depressed and feeling  helpless.

1. Our first visit was to a lady I have know for 45-50 years. She attended Denton Drive church when we were members there and then she was  a member at Webb Chapel.. She is a beautiful lady then and now. She lived less than a block from the church building and was there every service with her two little boys. Her husband had no use for "religion" and as the boys grew older he would take them to races or other "fun" places on Sundays but my friend was always there. She would look as though she had just had a professional make over and she was fun and vivacious and a good friend. She cleaned houses for extra money and I never heard her complain about one thing. A few years ago she had a stroke and for a while we thought she might recover. But she hasn't and now most likely never will. She is my age and still  can understand when you talk with her and definitely knows who I am. Her eyes light up and she points at me whenever she sees me. You can talk to her but her only response to everything is "aya, aya, aya," etc. She still lives at home and her husband and a neighbor care for her..
2. Our second visit was to a nursing home to see a man from Webb Chapel who also had a stroke a few years ago. We have known him and his sweet wife since we started attending Webb Chapel 29 years ago. His son-in-law spoke at our son's Memorial Service a little over four years ago. His wife stays most of the day at the nursing home but we missed her yesterday. She is one of the sweetest ladies I have ever talked with. She is always asking how I am and only then can I get her to talk about her husband's condition. She has been caring for him constantly since he became ill. It is easy to see what it has done to her physical and mental health. He didn't know us and the things he talked about made no sense. It seems such a waste of a wonderful man and a very cute and loving couple. Again they are really close to my age.
3. Our last visit was to a man who lost his wife of over 50 years to cancer. We had visited them three days before she died about two years ago. He cared for her lovingly at home. He had a hospital bed set up in their living room and as far as I could tell very seldom left her side. Before the cancer took her she had also been a beautiful lady and they always sat one section over from us and a couple of pews down. I didn't know them very well, but their daughter-in-law has become a good friend. She has serious health problems also and lost her daughter a few years ago and is raising her grand daughter who is in middle school. The man we visited has been out of the house very little since his wife died. The television set is against the wall with the tv screen facing the wall. He said his great grand daughter comes over every Saturday. She loves music, but has to bring her own music and player because he has nothing in his house that plays music. His house is in a very expensive neighborhood and when we were there before beautifully decorated with lots of very large silk flower arrangements. His hair is unkept and he didn't seem interested in talking about anything. When we left I told him we missed him at church and he said he might be back some day. He was another person who was always there. Did I mention that they he isn't very much older than me.

Yesterday was truly sad and a lesson for all of us. All three of these people's lives changed overnight. I don't know when the thought of living and enjoying one day at a time has meant more to me than it does now.And I realize that there are thousands of these stories all across our nation. The good news for these three is the reward in heaven that is awaiting them. And for them it probably can't come soon enough.

"Can't Believe We're Still Alive"

Our minister told this morning of attending a class reunion of 40 years and he had been one of their teachers. There was a sign there that said "Can't Believe We're Still Alive". Of course, being one of their teachers, it made him feel really old.
It seems to me as we grow older, our priorities, perspectives and a lot of other things change. When you become involved in other people's lives, your time is litterally not your own. I have no routine any more. When I wake up each day the first thing I see as I make my cup of coffee is a rock someone gave me that has written on it "Thank You Lord for Today". When I look at that rock I realize that may be all we have is just today. Somehow that makes the dust, clutter, etc. much less important. Don't get me wrong. I still love a clean, organized house, but if a phone call comes or some other more important interruption happens I try to go with the flow and do what I need to do with a cheerful attitude. This change in attitude has put me smack dab in the middle of so many lives that some days I don't have time to think about my grand children who live so far away and the fact that I will soon have a great grandson that I may only see occasionally. Recently Deedie, Mitzi and I took a young widow out to eat for her birthday. She has no family here and is somewhat physically disabled and then in June fell and "messed up" her good arm and shoulder. Her medical problems are many and her finances are few. We invited 3 more of her friends to join us at El Fenix, one of her favorite places. As I looked around the table of 9 people, I realized that outside of Deedie and Mitzi, I knew none of the people personally 4 years ago. Two of the 9 people were young girls who came with their mother and grandmother. It may not have been blood family, but it had a definite family atmosphere. The birthday girl was surprised and so happy to be getting the attention.
After reading my sister's blogs tonight I realize again how she has always been Mary to my Martha no matter how hard I try to change. Her blogs are spiritual and very thought provoking. Mine are just what I happen to be thinking about at the time, which are for the most part, very random and frivilous.
Our family - Dennis, Mitzi, Annette, Amy and Jason were always the focus of my life from the moment Dennis was born and then as we added the other members one by one. We were fortunate in so many ways to have them close to us for 49 years plus a few months. Now that most everyone is scattered I'm having to get used to a totally different life. I really thought I was doing well with the situation and then something happened to make me realize how easily I can fall back. Two of the ladies at Webb Chapel church are giving Amy a baby shower on Sunday, October 16, even though she's in Pennsylvania. Mitzi was planning to hook up her computer camera and Amy was going to hook hers up so she could be a part of the shower. Annette called me yesterday and told me that one of our elders and his wife are giving Amy enough of their free miles to fly her down for the weekend so she could be here for the shower. Every pregnant picture I have seen of her recently has made me want to hug her the way I used to. Of course, Annette feels that in a mothers' way  and was so sad that she wasn't going to get to see her before the baby is born. When Annette told me the news, I cried and cried, and  it made me realize that I haven't been doing as well as I thought.
I know that this doesn't make sense and maybe no one will read it which would probably be good, but my mind is so crazy lately and jumps around a lot, so this is me on Sunday night, September 25, 2011.

May Be Too Old for This

A couple weeks ago we were sitting around and everything was peaceful. I guess we can't stand peaceful, so we decided to turn our life upside down. We traded my 2010 Mitsubishi and Deedie's 2001 Dodge Ram pick-up in for a 2007 Chevrolet Avalanche with so much "stuff" on it that we take the manual with us everywhere we go and read it at every spare moment.At the moment we are working on getting the climate control system set to automatically come on one way on the driver's side and another on the passenger side. Good luck on that one. The next project is to get the seats and mirrors to change when we push a #1 or #2 button. Deedie being #1 and me being #2. It's kind of easier to just set them when you get in since they are both electronically controlled and you have to push a button anyway. At first I thought it might help our minds, but I think it is turning them to mush. Information overload.
If that wasn't enough, last week we bought a new RV travel trailer to pull behind the Avalanche. This week the RV is still at the dealership getting everything put together and then we will go up and spend 3-4 hours learning how to operate the thing. It will also have an owner's manual as thick as the Dallas phone directory. I think this all started when we were talking about going to Pennsylvania for Christmas and not having a place or anyone to look after our little dog, Opie. We were thinking that the lady who normally stays with him when we travel might not want to stay with him during Christmas. Not that we have asked her, we just assumed. So now on December 17 or 18, we will head to PA in our truck pulling the RV and taking Mitzi ad Opie with us.It will probably be 10 degrees and snow everywhere and we'll get stuck.  I think for the extra $20,000 we have spent, we might have found SOMEONE to stay with Opie. Oh well, he's 10 years old and having some leg and knee problems. He just better not die before we get to use this contraption.
We are still trying to think of a name for the RV. It has Zinger written on the side of it - we may put a STUPID sign over that. Or it could be the most fun thing we've ever done. Having never stayed at an RV park or done any camping at all I have no idea what to expect.
More later.....................gotta go read some more in the manual!

Organization out of Confusion

I have made a decision to get control of my time.However much time that may be. Seems as though when the day dawns I have an unlimited amount of time to do what I have planned for that day. Sometimes, at least the last few months, that is a doctor appointment for me, or sometimes taking a friend who isn't able to drive to her doctor appointment and helping her buy groceries. These things rarely take an entire day, but usually I don't get much accomplished at home on those days.
So, I decided that if I were ever going to get organized I needed a PLAN to try and keep me on track. I have decided to clean out ONE cabinet or drawer per day, however large or small that cabinet or drawer may be. I did pretty good with that this week. Although today, I had to do my cabinet after dinner. It happened to be the cabinet that held my many bottles and cans of spices. And I do mean many. I knew it had been a while since I had even looked at my spices, so I decided to check the expiration date on each one. I had one can that expired in 1989.. When I was finished throwing away the out of date spices, my cabinet was practically empty. Amazing - now I have room for so much more "stuff" in that cabinet. I have found that to be true in every cabinet. When I finish there's always so much room. There is probably a profound lesson in that somewhere and it may come to me sometime tonight.
Another area that needs organized is my many "user names" and "passwords" to many different sites I use on the computer. For instance when I started to write this blog, I couldn't find my user name. I had the password, but no user name. I finally found it on a completely different small piece of paper stuck in my notebook where I put most of that stuff. I have user names and passwords written down on pieces of paper and don't even know what they are for. Sooo - my daughter suggested I get an address book and put my passwords and user names in alphabetical order. I looked for an address book at the dollar store today to no avail. So if I can remember I will look for one when I'm at Wal Mart next. Doesn't that sound like a lot of fun - sitting here and getting all that written in an address book. But if I should get all that where I can find it, maybe I'll get another cabinet cleaned out with all the time I will save looking for my password, etc.
Now, if I can just find time to walk on my treadmill every day, do my daily Bible reading, read a little either in my self improvement book, or novel, have lunch with a friend, do laundry, iron and keep up with politics, then I will feel that I've accomplished something.