Memories vs Anticipation

I was thinking today in the early morning hours when for some reason, I can never sleep, about birthdays. March is a month of several birthdays for our family. My dad's was March 3, Deedie's March 8, Christi March 12, Dennis March 25, Deedie's nephew March 26, and probably some I am missing.
Facebook has added a new dimension to the birthday experience. We can write on people's wall and leave them messages no matter where they are, and express our feelings, memories, and wishes to them. It's a fun thing to do and I always enjoy reading them on my birthday.
A thought (I don't have many of these anymore) hit me while reading just such a message from my sister to her beautiful 45 year old daughter. Of course I have memories of her growing up also. Back in the seemingly slower days of our lives we saw each other more often and seemed to have time to talk, cook, eat and play games. Those are the memories I cherish. She mentioned her feelings and thoughts about memories and anticipation. Very interesting and easy to separate the two.
In the past I have always enjoyed the anticipation of being together for an event more  than remembering the past. A luxury I don't have anymore when it concerns our son. Memories are all we have, unless you count the anticipation of being with him in heaven. I'm not sure if we will know him there, which will not matter at all once we are in the presence of God and his Son. So I don't think about anticipation of a reunion there.
My memories of the 49 years we had him in this physical life is what I have. Of course, I see him in his daughter, Amy and son, Jason and most assuredly in his grandson, Gabe. Someone wrote on Facebook the other day after seeing a picture of Gabe that "Grandpa Dennis would have been so proud". Why doesn't that make me feel happy. It is true that Dennis would have loved the little fellow and would have taught him so many things if he were here, but he's not. So anticipation of Dennis doing grandpa things with Gabe is not something that had ever entered my mind.
But memories of him - do I ever have them and even after 5 and 1/2 years he is still alive in the memory of so many other people. I was stunned recently while attending a funeral for a 9 month old baby from our church, when the service opened with CD's playing of Dennis singing all 4 parts of hymns. This family loved Dennis and had known him since he was 4 years old. After thinking about it, I wasn't surprised at their choice of who would sing at this precious baby's funeral, but it still focused my mind on Dennis and the memories came flooding back.
On a Wednesday night recently, one of our elders was leading the singing and when he announced the song, he said "We don't sing this song here much anymore, Dennis used to lead it fairly often." Again my mind was jolted out of what I was thinking and I started thinking about and seeing in my mind's eye, Dennis standing at the pulpit and leading almost every song in the book.
He is so woven in my soul from the time he was a baby and I rocked him and told him he would be another Samuel when he grew up, until the last day I spent at the hospital with him as he was totally recovering from surgery, and we were anticipating him being home and life going on as it had in the past. Memories are thoughts that come unbidden no matter what I'm doing or how much I'm trying not to live in the past.
I've often wondered how parents go on with their life after losing a child and I still don't know. As for me, I try to make it one day at a time, trying not to spend time in remembering and never having anticipation.
 

One Knife Kitchen

(Or how to cook Thanksgiving Dinner with ONE knife)

    We have just returned from spending a week in a guest house on a Mennonite farm in the Amish country of Pennsylvania. In our living/kitchen area, there were 11 windows. We could see the countryside all around us dotted with Amish houses and farms. Everyone of these homes were as clean and neat as anything I have ever seen.

   This is a picture of the owners' house. Our guest house was attached to the left side as you look at the picture. We had 3 bedrooms and 1-1/2 bath, kitchen, living area. Lots of room and beautifully decorated.

   We planned to cook Thanksgiving dinner in our guest house with Deedie, Mitzi, me, Tim, Amy, Gabe, Annette, and Tim's mom, Ruth attending. I discovered early in the week that the kitchen was meagerly equipped (in my way of thinking and cooking), but I was determined to make-do with what was there. I had one butcher knife which was not very sharp, no cutting board and no Pampered Chef chopper. After cooking several days, I learned to like coarsely chopped apples in my tuna and even wondered briefly why I had 5 Pampered Chef knives and 4 Cutco knives in my drawer at home. The cleaning up was much easier with only one knife, especially since there wasn't a dishwasher.  There was a TV in the living room, but no TV service. It was connected to a DVD player, and we even watched part of an old Andy Griffith movie one night. Our Thanksgiving dinner turned out very well, with turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, peas, corn, deviled eggs, cranberry sauce, ham, a special dressing that Ruth makes and pumpkin and pecan pies purchased at an Amish bakery. Ummm good! It was a gorgeous day and a beautiful setting to enjoy Thanksgiving.

   Of course, being with Tim, Amy and Gabe part of every day was the reason we were there and it couldn't have been more fun. We enjoyed Gabe, who turned one on Sunday, November 25th, the day we had to leave. He is so smart, with a laid back, sweet nature and it was hard to leave him.

   The owners of the home we stayed in were industrious and hard working. She has a gift shop in the town of Bird In Hand, as well as runs the household where we were. Every year at this time, she along with her sisters and sisters-in-law, mother, grandmother, etc. stop everything they are doing and put together Christmas wreaths from live trees. They have a building behind where we were and they worked all day and into the night. They make them by the thousands and trucks pick them up and deliver them to retail stores all over the country. We were able to watch for a few minutes one morning and it was very interesting.

   We shopped one day at Lena's gift shop and wee surprised to discover that there must be Amish people who live in China, because a lot of the gift items in her shop said "Made in China". She also had a lot of beautiful handmade items and we enjoyed looking. We loved looking at the countryside and driving around just looking at the farms and passing the horse pulled buggies. Mitzi jogged a few mornings and had to dodge the horse droppings.

This is a picture of the front porch of the main house.

The top two pictures were taken on an old well, and the bottom one is at Gabe's birthday party on Saturday.

   Between Mitzi and me we took between 200 - 300 pictures, so if you ever have a free day - just come on over.
   We loved the simplicity of the life on the Amish farms. Everyone does their share and they work hard, but they are always smiling and friendly and I would go back again if ever given the chance.

Long Winter Days

Having just returned from 10 days seeing our grand children and brand new great grandchild, Gabriel Keith Baker and all the activities that involved, life now seems a bit hum drum. In days past I could cook something yummy for us and start new projects.
But with my diabetes having gotten a little out of control and with pain in both feet constantly that cuts down tremendously on activities I enjoy. I see the foot doctor next week, so maybe I will get a diagnosis and I have purchased (through my new Kindle) a book called "The 30 Day Diabetes Cure" It is written by a doctor and he explains in graphic detail what will happen to me if I don't get my Type 2 Diabetes under control, and it is not a pretty picture. So after having read some of it on Tuesday, I went to the health food store on Wednesday and bought a cart full of food he suggested I eat. I started the diet on Wednesday and have managed to stay on it for two days. I think the first 10 days is the worst because he's trying to get all the sugar out of your body and get it cleansed for the next phase. I haven't been brave enough to read that far yet, just trying to survive one day at a time for 10 days. I'm finding it cost a lot more to eat healthy than to eat fast foods, good homemade baked potato soup, etc. That is definitely not on this diet, nor are the bagels with cream cheese and the boxes of donuts the motel put out each morning for our breakfast. I know I have to take this diet seriously because the doctor just keeps adding medicine on top of medicine when my blood sugar goes up. Actually the doctor who wrote the book said this isn't a "diet" but a lifestyle change and I thought "whoopeeeee". When you get older, eating out or cooking "good" food is about the only pleasure we get, so I'm thinking of other things to do beside eat.
One of my favorite things to do is read and play with my new Kindle. I've downloaded several books, the Bible, a few games and Amy taught me some things about it while we were there. She just got hers for Christmas and could do more than I could within the first 30 minutes. Of course I have several books for classes at church that I need to be reading as well. Every time I sit down to read one of those books, my restless legs kick in and if I take a pill so I can sit, it puts me to sleep.
I'm not really complaining, even though it may sound like it. There are so many people that our ladies class visit who are so much worse off that I count my blessings all the time.
So yesterday I hobbled up to Home Depot and looked at their carpet. We may carpet the sun room, so that's a fun thing to think about, especially since we won't be watching the Cowboys in the playoffs, and it looks like the Mavs won't make it either. Come on Ranger's baseball season.
Spring will be here before we know it and I get to go dig in the yard. Can't wait!
I may just start a new jigsaw puzzle. Getting older is definitely not for the faint hearted.
More later and maybe it will be positive.

Gabriel Keith (Thompson) Baker

   Our GREAT grandson arrived right on his time schedule at 5:18 am Eastern time on Friday, November 25, 2011. So far we've only seen a couple pictures taken from a cell phone. He looks absolutely perfect and Tim and Amy look like you would expect proud parents to look.
    When people see his little face they immediately say "He looks just like Amy" or "He looks just like Tim" or my sister sees Dennis in him. Of course, everyone is right. He is a combination of Baker/Thompson /Moses genes, but he will be  his own little guy. When we see him in 22 days, I'm sure he will have changed and maybe we can tell if he does favor one person more than another. If he has the character, integrity and heart of the three people he is said to favor, then he will indeed be a special little boy and hopefully, some day a man of God.
   I could look at his picture all day. I love looking at his little ears, mouth, nose and eyes. With a cap on and bundled in a blanket, that's about all I can see right now. Annette said he has dark hair like Tim, and not the little red fuzz that Amy had. The most important thing of all is that he and Amy are doing so good. God has blessed all of us with this little human to love and watch as he grows.
   I've never been a long distance grandparent OR great grandparent, and I don't imagine we will get to see him very often, so thank goodness for email pictures, cell phone pictures and computer cameras. We have loved him since the moment we found out that Amy was expecting him.
   A new generation has begun as well as a new adventure for Tim and Amy. The pages of the book are almost blank, but soon will start to fill with the different stages of his life. As I realize that we won't be around for the majority of his life, I sort of feel that a torch has been passed down from our parents, Deedie and me, his GREAT aunt Mitzi,  Dennis and Annette and Amy and Tim to little Gabe and I have a feeling he will carry it proudly.As long as he is pleasing to God, that is all that matters.
We love you Gabe!
Great Grandma (Gigi)
Great Grandpa
November 26, 2011

My Nemesis - Technology

Well, I've gone and done it again. I was given lots of Amazon Gift Cards for my birthday, so today I ordered the Kindle Fire. I'm sure it will be another frustration for me before I figure it all out. Really all I wanted was a reader to take on trips, to doctor's offices where you wait, and other places where I have to wait and I can just pull this out of my purse and read. But NO - I can watch movies, listen to music, play games, email and surf the web all from one little 7" gadget. They are not specific in letting you know which or if all of these things cost extra money. I'm sure they do so I will probably only use it to read books and emails when traveling.

 While we were looking at several of these today to get an idea of what I might want, Deedie asked "what is an app?" I actually knew that one from listening to Mitzi and Lisa talking. But it made me wonder about the terminology used in all types of technology. Are some people born knowing what an "app" is, what an hourglass means other than what we used to think it was, did everybody know a "mouse" was a way to move your "cursor" around, and what a "cursor" was in regards to a computer. I've taken 3 classes recently at the Farmers Branch Senior Center on the picture organizer called "Picasa". The teacher used terms like "import"  and "export" as though we knew exactly what each command did and where to find it on the screen. Did everyone but me know that "noise" means a grainy or blurry picture. I think there's a Secret Society out there that whispers these special terms in selective people's ears so they know what they mean before they are ever used. I still don't know the difference in a "GB" and a "MB" .

My son, Dennis, taught me most of what I know about using computers. He thought it was ridiculous that a "lay" person had to know so much in order to use a simple program. He said most people didn't know how a car's engine worked and didn't need to know in order to drive the car. I totally agree. Even the books for "Dummies", of which I have several, are not much help to me. They use words to explain words and I don't know the meaning of either. The world's vocabulary has completely changed since I was in school and I am clueless.

It doesn't comfort me a lot to realize that my great grandson to be, Gabe, will probably learn all of this before I do, so I think I'll just wait and let him teach me how to use my Kindle. I'm sure he will like it because it has lots of books and games for children.. Guess I could just go the library and check out a book, but that's done electronically now too and you never talk to a human. I usually slide my card the wrong way and gum up the works and have to find someone anyway.

I do have one new activity that I just started this week. I joined "Netflix" where you choose from a selection of DVD movies or television shows and put them in your "queue". They send you the first one in your queue and as soon as you watch it, you put it back in the envelope and mail it, and they send you the next one you have chosen. I've discovered they get it the next day and I get my next one the day after that. Amazing. And all for only $8.00 a month - as many as you can watch in that length of time. Now if I could just figure out how to work our new DVD player.

Of Planes, Trains, RVs, and Trucks

Several weeks ago I wrote about our new adventure in buying a huge truck large enough to pull an RV that we bought a week or so later. Our first trip with Mitzi  and Opie to a campground near Utopia, TX was a blast. It was obvious to all the campers around us that we were totally "greenhorns" and we received lots of help and advice. The refrigerator stopped working and when we returned home the RV went back to the dealer. During the 10 days it was in for repair, we had a chance to step back and take a look at what we had done. The truck got 10-11 miles per gallon while puling the RV. Although we only traveled approximately 600 miles, our gas cost over $600,00. On top of that we paid $34.00 per night  (winter rates), plus eating out since our refrigerator wasn't working. It takes so much strength to hook up the hitch and stabilizing bars that Deedie and I could never go anywhere without Mitzi, which would limit our trips greatly.
So when the dealership called to tell us the RV was ready we went up and told them to keep it and try and sell it. He actually sold it in two weeks and we are very relieved.
Once we got that off our hands we begin to think  about trading in the Avalanche for a smaller SUV similar to the Mitsubishi that we had. We looked for a couple days both physically and on the computer. Yesterday we found our vehicle It is a 2010 Chrysler Town and Country (mini van I guess).  We will pick it up today and then we will be back to the day that things were too peaceful. Our savings account is much smaller, although for the first time in our life, we traded vehicles and they actually are writing us a check for a few hundred dollars. Not nearly enough to make up for our expenses to determine we didn't want an RV or a huge Chevrolet Avalanche that MIGHT get 17-20 miles per gallon on the road.
Oh when I asked the lady who stays with Opie if she would be available Christmas week, she said yes. Wish I had asked her earlier.
So our whole family plan to be in Pennsylvania at Christmas time and get to spoil Gabe for Amy and Tim and then come back home.
Hope things don't get boring or peaceful in January. If that happens would someone please come and tie us down.

Life is Indeed a Vapor

Within the past week we have lost two of our male friends from our Webb Chapel family.
One was expected because he had been ill for some time after a stroke. It didn't make it any easier for his sweet wife of over 50 years, but she knew it was coming and spent his last days with him constantly.
The other man was at Wednesday night bible class last night. This morning he was sitting in his chair waiting for his wife to cook their breakfast. When she went to get him to eat he was slumped over in his chair having had a massive stroke. She called 911 and he was taken to the hospital. We went to the hospital to be with her and check on his condition. He died at 12:00 noon, never regaining conscious.
It made me think again how we can be here one minute and gone in the blink of an eye. This couple had only been at Webb Chapel for approximately 3 years, but as they usually sat in front of us we had gotten to know both of them fairly well. Then last year she taught our ladies' class and did a super job. He was actually a retired minister and he led the most beautiful prayers in our church services. I was able to get to know Joyce through ladies' class. We are on the same visitation team and I have really enjoyed spending time with her. They have two daughters and a son. One daughter is in Hawaii and the son is on his way here from Tennessee. What a shock this must be for them and what a sad trip home. They have always been a very close family and I feel for them as they go through the next few days and weeks.
At our grand daughter's baby shower given by ladies from our church last Sunday, we were all given little notes to write our advice to Amy, who lives in Pennsylvania.  The hostess put together a beautiful book to mail to Amy with pictures and momentos from the shower. I was looking through the book and read all the little notes of advice. In almost every instance the women at the shower wrote to spend time and love this baby, let the housework go, have date nights with her husband, etc. This is advice all of us can take when it comes to our family and friends. As has been demonstrated so harshly this morning, you never know when it will be the last time you have an opportunity to do that.
Just my thoughts as we have now returned from the hospital leaving the family with so many necessary details to work out and little time to mourn. If you read this please include them in your prayers.

Three (Unfortunately True) Stories

Our Ladies Bible class have four teams of three or four ladies and each team makes visits once a month to our shut-ins, hospital, nursing homes, etc. The team I am on made our visits after class on Tuesday. We usually have lunch together and then spend most of the afternoon visiting. Sometimes these are enjoyable and uplifting for all of us but yesterday that was not the case. We all came away a little depressed and feeling  helpless.

1. Our first visit was to a lady I have know for 45-50 years. She attended Denton Drive church when we were members there and then she was  a member at Webb Chapel.. She is a beautiful lady then and now. She lived less than a block from the church building and was there every service with her two little boys. Her husband had no use for "religion" and as the boys grew older he would take them to races or other "fun" places on Sundays but my friend was always there. She would look as though she had just had a professional make over and she was fun and vivacious and a good friend. She cleaned houses for extra money and I never heard her complain about one thing. A few years ago she had a stroke and for a while we thought she might recover. But she hasn't and now most likely never will. She is my age and still  can understand when you talk with her and definitely knows who I am. Her eyes light up and she points at me whenever she sees me. You can talk to her but her only response to everything is "aya, aya, aya," etc. She still lives at home and her husband and a neighbor care for her..
2. Our second visit was to a nursing home to see a man from Webb Chapel who also had a stroke a few years ago. We have known him and his sweet wife since we started attending Webb Chapel 29 years ago. His son-in-law spoke at our son's Memorial Service a little over four years ago. His wife stays most of the day at the nursing home but we missed her yesterday. She is one of the sweetest ladies I have ever talked with. She is always asking how I am and only then can I get her to talk about her husband's condition. She has been caring for him constantly since he became ill. It is easy to see what it has done to her physical and mental health. He didn't know us and the things he talked about made no sense. It seems such a waste of a wonderful man and a very cute and loving couple. Again they are really close to my age.
3. Our last visit was to a man who lost his wife of over 50 years to cancer. We had visited them three days before she died about two years ago. He cared for her lovingly at home. He had a hospital bed set up in their living room and as far as I could tell very seldom left her side. Before the cancer took her she had also been a beautiful lady and they always sat one section over from us and a couple of pews down. I didn't know them very well, but their daughter-in-law has become a good friend. She has serious health problems also and lost her daughter a few years ago and is raising her grand daughter who is in middle school. The man we visited has been out of the house very little since his wife died. The television set is against the wall with the tv screen facing the wall. He said his great grand daughter comes over every Saturday. She loves music, but has to bring her own music and player because he has nothing in his house that plays music. His house is in a very expensive neighborhood and when we were there before beautifully decorated with lots of very large silk flower arrangements. His hair is unkept and he didn't seem interested in talking about anything. When we left I told him we missed him at church and he said he might be back some day. He was another person who was always there. Did I mention that they he isn't very much older than me.

Yesterday was truly sad and a lesson for all of us. All three of these people's lives changed overnight. I don't know when the thought of living and enjoying one day at a time has meant more to me than it does now.And I realize that there are thousands of these stories all across our nation. The good news for these three is the reward in heaven that is awaiting them. And for them it probably can't come soon enough.

"Can't Believe We're Still Alive"

Our minister told this morning of attending a class reunion of 40 years and he had been one of their teachers. There was a sign there that said "Can't Believe We're Still Alive". Of course, being one of their teachers, it made him feel really old.
It seems to me as we grow older, our priorities, perspectives and a lot of other things change. When you become involved in other people's lives, your time is litterally not your own. I have no routine any more. When I wake up each day the first thing I see as I make my cup of coffee is a rock someone gave me that has written on it "Thank You Lord for Today". When I look at that rock I realize that may be all we have is just today. Somehow that makes the dust, clutter, etc. much less important. Don't get me wrong. I still love a clean, organized house, but if a phone call comes or some other more important interruption happens I try to go with the flow and do what I need to do with a cheerful attitude. This change in attitude has put me smack dab in the middle of so many lives that some days I don't have time to think about my grand children who live so far away and the fact that I will soon have a great grandson that I may only see occasionally. Recently Deedie, Mitzi and I took a young widow out to eat for her birthday. She has no family here and is somewhat physically disabled and then in June fell and "messed up" her good arm and shoulder. Her medical problems are many and her finances are few. We invited 3 more of her friends to join us at El Fenix, one of her favorite places. As I looked around the table of 9 people, I realized that outside of Deedie and Mitzi, I knew none of the people personally 4 years ago. Two of the 9 people were young girls who came with their mother and grandmother. It may not have been blood family, but it had a definite family atmosphere. The birthday girl was surprised and so happy to be getting the attention.
After reading my sister's blogs tonight I realize again how she has always been Mary to my Martha no matter how hard I try to change. Her blogs are spiritual and very thought provoking. Mine are just what I happen to be thinking about at the time, which are for the most part, very random and frivilous.
Our family - Dennis, Mitzi, Annette, Amy and Jason were always the focus of my life from the moment Dennis was born and then as we added the other members one by one. We were fortunate in so many ways to have them close to us for 49 years plus a few months. Now that most everyone is scattered I'm having to get used to a totally different life. I really thought I was doing well with the situation and then something happened to make me realize how easily I can fall back. Two of the ladies at Webb Chapel church are giving Amy a baby shower on Sunday, October 16, even though she's in Pennsylvania. Mitzi was planning to hook up her computer camera and Amy was going to hook hers up so she could be a part of the shower. Annette called me yesterday and told me that one of our elders and his wife are giving Amy enough of their free miles to fly her down for the weekend so she could be here for the shower. Every pregnant picture I have seen of her recently has made me want to hug her the way I used to. Of course, Annette feels that in a mothers' way  and was so sad that she wasn't going to get to see her before the baby is born. When Annette told me the news, I cried and cried, and  it made me realize that I haven't been doing as well as I thought.
I know that this doesn't make sense and maybe no one will read it which would probably be good, but my mind is so crazy lately and jumps around a lot, so this is me on Sunday night, September 25, 2011.

May Be Too Old for This

A couple weeks ago we were sitting around and everything was peaceful. I guess we can't stand peaceful, so we decided to turn our life upside down. We traded my 2010 Mitsubishi and Deedie's 2001 Dodge Ram pick-up in for a 2007 Chevrolet Avalanche with so much "stuff" on it that we take the manual with us everywhere we go and read it at every spare moment.At the moment we are working on getting the climate control system set to automatically come on one way on the driver's side and another on the passenger side. Good luck on that one. The next project is to get the seats and mirrors to change when we push a #1 or #2 button. Deedie being #1 and me being #2. It's kind of easier to just set them when you get in since they are both electronically controlled and you have to push a button anyway. At first I thought it might help our minds, but I think it is turning them to mush. Information overload.
If that wasn't enough, last week we bought a new RV travel trailer to pull behind the Avalanche. This week the RV is still at the dealership getting everything put together and then we will go up and spend 3-4 hours learning how to operate the thing. It will also have an owner's manual as thick as the Dallas phone directory. I think this all started when we were talking about going to Pennsylvania for Christmas and not having a place or anyone to look after our little dog, Opie. We were thinking that the lady who normally stays with him when we travel might not want to stay with him during Christmas. Not that we have asked her, we just assumed. So now on December 17 or 18, we will head to PA in our truck pulling the RV and taking Mitzi ad Opie with us.It will probably be 10 degrees and snow everywhere and we'll get stuck.  I think for the extra $20,000 we have spent, we might have found SOMEONE to stay with Opie. Oh well, he's 10 years old and having some leg and knee problems. He just better not die before we get to use this contraption.
We are still trying to think of a name for the RV. It has Zinger written on the side of it - we may put a STUPID sign over that. Or it could be the most fun thing we've ever done. Having never stayed at an RV park or done any camping at all I have no idea what to expect.
More later.....................gotta go read some more in the manual!

Organization out of Confusion

I have made a decision to get control of my time.However much time that may be. Seems as though when the day dawns I have an unlimited amount of time to do what I have planned for that day. Sometimes, at least the last few months, that is a doctor appointment for me, or sometimes taking a friend who isn't able to drive to her doctor appointment and helping her buy groceries. These things rarely take an entire day, but usually I don't get much accomplished at home on those days.
So, I decided that if I were ever going to get organized I needed a PLAN to try and keep me on track. I have decided to clean out ONE cabinet or drawer per day, however large or small that cabinet or drawer may be. I did pretty good with that this week. Although today, I had to do my cabinet after dinner. It happened to be the cabinet that held my many bottles and cans of spices. And I do mean many. I knew it had been a while since I had even looked at my spices, so I decided to check the expiration date on each one. I had one can that expired in 1989.. When I was finished throwing away the out of date spices, my cabinet was practically empty. Amazing - now I have room for so much more "stuff" in that cabinet. I have found that to be true in every cabinet. When I finish there's always so much room. There is probably a profound lesson in that somewhere and it may come to me sometime tonight.
Another area that needs organized is my many "user names" and "passwords" to many different sites I use on the computer. For instance when I started to write this blog, I couldn't find my user name. I had the password, but no user name. I finally found it on a completely different small piece of paper stuck in my notebook where I put most of that stuff. I have user names and passwords written down on pieces of paper and don't even know what they are for. Sooo - my daughter suggested I get an address book and put my passwords and user names in alphabetical order. I looked for an address book at the dollar store today to no avail. So if I can remember I will look for one when I'm at Wal Mart next. Doesn't that sound like a lot of fun - sitting here and getting all that written in an address book. But if I should get all that where I can find it, maybe I'll get another cabinet cleaned out with all the time I will save looking for my password, etc.
Now, if I can just find time to walk on my treadmill every day, do my daily Bible reading, read a little either in my self improvement book, or novel, have lunch with a friend, do laundry, iron and keep up with politics, then I will feel that I've accomplished something.

Too Old to Change?

Over the years my children and grand children have "gotten" me into all sorts of things. At times good and at times not so good. I could relate some of those, but it would take all my blog space from now on, but I may write about some of them as they come to mind.
My daughter especially has a way of getting me out of my comfort (lazy) zone. At her school inservice this year, the teachers were trained in  "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. I had heard of the book but had never read it. One of my resolves this year was to read a self help or self improvement book for every novel I read. I've been picking up books at estate sales and putting them on the bookshelf. They look really impressive there. I've actually read only two (and many more novels than that), but at least I'm trying. I told Mitzi that I would like to read any handouts, etc. they had received during their training. From what she told me it sounded very interesting. Well, a few days later here she comes with the book. She had found it at a garage sale. So now I have started it and read it every other day. The novel I'm reading is called "Tara Road" and I've gotten to a part where I don't want to put it down, but if it's my day to read the Covey book then I do that.
I'm not very far into the book, and he is "over my head" in a lot of his thinking, but the book is already making me think that things may not have always been what I was so sure they were. He talks about how we have been conditioned for a lifetime by the influences in our life - family, school, church, work, environment, friends and associates. We tend to assume that everyone sees the world as we do (or should), when we need to be able to see the world as they do also and it may not be the same. That's the assignment I have given myself this week - to really look and listen to people to hear and see their perspective on things and in most cases it will probably be totally different from mine. I may write about it  later if I have some success.
One thing I know for sure is that my daughter and my grand kids refuse to accept that I'm old and they stretch my mind and body far beyond where I think I can go. That's not a bad thing, and who knows, maybe I'll live long enough to finish the Covey book, since I have to read every page at least twice..

The List and What Became of It

Many times life throws you a curve - big time. I decided this was the week I would start to "deep" clean our house. I hadn't done much since having surgery in March and then May through August 13, went on vacation and then worked on "Give Away Day" for our church.
So - Sunday afternoon I made a list of things to do, starting Sunday afternoon through Saturday, things to do each day and by Saturday afternoon my whole house would be clean. The first mistake was that I was assuming since "Give Away Day" was over my time would be my own to do what I pleased. So many things have happened this week (and I couldn't begin to name them all) that I might as well throw my list away and just accept a messy house.
But God has put people in my life this week who need help much more than I need a clean house. I'm so thankful that I was here to mostly listen, and then put them in contact with people who could hopefully help them. I am finding out more each day how blessed I truly am to have grown up in a Christian home with the same mom and dad all my life. We had very little of the physical "things" most of my life at home, but we had food, shelter, and lots of love and amazing examples of service and  sacrifice. Most of that didn't rub off on me other than the incredible, unbelievable love for family. Just in the past 4 years have I started to really notice the tremendous needs of so many people. No one knows what God has in store for them, but I have decided that for whatever days or years I have left, I will do my best to open my eyes and heart to the needs of others and try to develop a servants attitude. I've been a "Martha" all my life, but I have just had a name change to "Mary". 
So, if you should visit my house, all I ask is that you not write your name in the dust!

Fourth Anniversary

How do you express your thoughts when it has been 4 years since our son contacted some terrible infection while in Baylor Hospital that, in my opinion, caused his very untimely death. Missing him and thinking about him is no easier today than 4 years ago. But today, I will count my blessings and try not to dwell on the sad things. My blessings are so many that I will undoubtedly leave some out but here goes:
God and his son Jesus Christ, all of my church family.
My earthly family - Deedie, Mitzi, Amy and Tim and soon to be Little Gabe,, Jason and Melody, Annette..
My sister and her family: Sharon, Ray, Christi, Eddie, Brandon, Madison, McKenna, Steven, Ami, Eric, Kevin, Emily, Shane, Shei, Blake Cade
My aunt Dorothy and cousins Margie and Bobby
All of my friends (and I will miss many) Doug and Linda, Martha, Leigh Ann, Sue, Mary Ellen, Cam, Pat, Linda Y., Dawn, Steve Steele, Steve and Barbara, Charles and Julia, George and Joyce, all of Annette's family, and the list could go on and on.
My home, my air conditioner, our little dog Opie, food in the refrigerator. car in the garage.
I'm thankful for all of the above and that's where my mind will attempt to focus all day. Pray that I will be successful.
Thanks!

Retirement

In my opinion, retirement is the best thing ever invented. It would have really been nice in our twenties! We have been retired for 12 years and I can't remember when we were so busy. I had envisioned long lazy days, having plenty of time for cooking really good meals, etc. That hasn't happened. One thing I don't understand is how we can end up with a desk full of paper work. I thought when I retired I wouldn't have a lot of paper work and decisions to make. How wrong I was. I get my desk cleaned off, everything filed and feel very proud of my accomplishment. The next thing I know it is full of paper again. I don't dare put it away before I finish it, because I would not only forget where I put it, but that I had it in the first place.
Of course having surgery for breast cancer didn't help. With over 55 insurance claims and bills from every person who met me during those 3 months it has been a struggle to keep it all straight.. If I hadn't known how to make a spreadsheet, I would have made many double payments. As an example, recently I received a bill from my oncology clinic saying I owed them a little over $700.00. I spent 4 hours one morning going back over everything I had paid, putting it on a spreadsheet and I ended up owing them $15.38. I mailed the spreadsheet along with my check to the accounting department. Within a few days I got a call from them telling me how much they appreciated the information. They just couldn't get it figured out. She told me that after looking over everything, I still owed them $23.00 and she would send me their explanation. I said "forget the explanation, I will send you $23.00 and we'll call it even." She sent me a letter saying "paid in full" and we were both satisfied, although I wasn't too happy about spending all that time doing their work for them. Maybe it just takes retired people longer to get things done.
More about retirement later.

Why "Mockingbird Hill"?

You may (or may not) be wondering why I named my blog "Mockingbird Hill".
#1 We have a LOT of Mockingbirds in our yard and we are somewhat on a hill.
#2 Years ago when Amy and Jason were small, we would take them with us to Lake Whitney for the weekend and for a week or two in the summer. On every trip we would sing most of the way there and we ALWAYS sang "Mockingbird Hill". It was one of our favorites.
#3  I love the words to the song, especially the chorus"..........it gives me a thrill, to wake up in the morning on Mockingbird Hill". I really don't like the nighttime, and I'm always thrilled to see the day break and the beginning of another day that God has given me "How my heart fills with gladness when I hear the trill of the birds in the treetops on Mockingbird Hill."
So there you have it - not very profound - but that's me.

A new adventure into "Technology"

Well here I am - out on a limb, trying out being a blogger and having my own site. All because my sister who is 8-1/2 years younger than me has her own beautiful website. I am trying to figure all this out and if I do, then I will write some stuff that you may or may not want to read. This is my first test.